FRIDAY_RELATIONSHIP CORNER
“When I was little, I watched my parents argue almost every night. My father was emotionally distant, barely showing affection, while my mother constantly sought his attention — begging for the smallest crumbs of love.
I promised myself that I would never end up like my mother. I believed I deserved a love where l wouldn’t have to beg for attention. But years later, I found myself in relationships where I was always the one chasing — texting first, trying to fix things, and holding on to men who barely showed my affection.
It took a long time for me to realize that I wasn’t just choosing partners — I was choosing what felt familiar.
When I came across your post, I decided to book a session to get your counsel Ma”, she said.
This is what I shared with her after listening to her story.
Your First Love Story Starts at Home
Whether you grew up in a loving home or a chaotic one, your childhood is where you first learn what love looks like.
If your parents showed affection, communicated, and resolved conflicts with respect — you’re more likely to expect the same in your relationships. But if you grew up in a home where love felt distant, unstable, or full of pain — you might unknowingly seek partners who recreate those patterns.
Why Does This Happen?
The mind doesn’t always seek what’s good — it seeks what feels familiar.
If love in your childhood felt like emotional neglect, constant criticism, or fighting to be seen — your adult relationships might mirror that, even if it hurts.
Signs A False Definition of Love From Your Childhood Is Influencing Your Relationships
♦You attract emotionally unavailable partners.
♦You feel the need to prove your worth in relationships.
♦You fear abandonment and cling to toxic partners.
♦You struggle to trust or open up emotionally.
♦You mistake chaos for passion.
But Here’s the truth:
You can break the cycle.
Healing starts when you become aware of the patterns you’ve been carrying. You can choose love that feels safe, consistent, and fulfilling — not just love that feels familiar.
After my sessions with her she learned that love isn’t something you chase — it’s something you receive freely. She started working on her self-worth, setting boundaries, and choosing partners who showed up consistently.
It wasn’t easy, but she finally realized something powerful:
You deserve the kind of love that doesn’t make you beg to be seen.
Your Childhood Shapes You, But It Doesn’t Have to Define You
Take a moment to reflect — are you choosing partners based on what feels familiar or what makes you truly happy?
